Breastfeeding, not always straight forward, not always an issue.
In this blog post W.A, a newcomer, continues her previous blogpost, by sharing her experiences regarding breastfeeding as a first and second-time mother.
Arabic follows the English version.
When will my milk come in? What if my milk doesn’t come in? What is the best way to hold a breastfeeding baby? These were a few of the questions that haunted me from time to time, especially with my due date approaching. I was looking for the best advice and wanted everything to be perfect, like every mother does.
After the birth of my first child, my milk supply did not come in. I felt stressed and sad every time the nurse placed him on my chest to try and breastfeed him. No matter what we tried, my milk didn’t come in, so the nurse gave him formula.
We tried this for three days, but to me, it felt like three years. After this, a breastfeeding specialist came and recommended I use a breast pump every three hours to stimulate the milk flow. On the fourth day, in tiny quantities, the milk began to come in drops.
Sometimes, breastfeeding felt like a punishment as I had sore and cracked nipples. Every time we tried to breastfeed, it hurt. On the one hand, I desperately wanted to continue breastfeeding because of its benefits. On the other hand, the pain and stress I was feeling while trying to breastfeed caused a lot of negative thoughts and left me feeling depressed. I didn’t feel I deserved to have a child as I wasn’t able to breastfeed him.
I struggled with breastfeeding for a long time. Eventually, due to a chest infection, I couldn’t continue anymore. My baby also lost the desire to breastfeed, so I switched to the bottle. Feeding him this way offered me physical and psychological comfort. From a practical point of view, I could leave the house without feeling embarrassed about needing to breastfeed when we were out. I had warm water, milk, and his bottle in my bag ready to offer whenever he needed. It was easy.
With my second child, the situation was very different. After giving birth, the nurse placed my baby on my chest, and the milk came in immediately. I can’t describe how I felt at that moment. I was overjoyed. I felt a sense of psychological comfort. I felt confident. I am still breastfeeding now, and my second child is almost eleven months old.
When I ask myself why my breastfeeding journey was smoother the second time round, the reason is very clear. I put it down to psychological comfort and self-confidence. A first-time mother remains in a state of stress. The fear of the unknown and making a mistake can be stressful. When you become a second-time mother, you become stronger and more experienced. This increases your self-confidence, your sense of contentment and comfort. You know what will happen and how to deal with the situation. This was my experience at least, but for others, the breastfeeding journey does go smoothly that first time.
In the end, I don’t believe it matters whether you breastfeed or use formula. The important thing is to hold your baby in your arms, to hug and kiss them before and after you feed them. This is how the relationship between a mother and child is built.
The writer WA arrived in the Netherlands in 2018 after a very difficult asylum journey that lasted more than two years. Today she lives with her husband and two children in Utrecht, the oldest is two years and 10 months and the youngest is nine months.
