Routine or no routine? When you have a choice of course…(part 2)

By Sarah Davies

When my daughter was two, I became a mother for the second time and had a completely different sleep experience. It was a whole new ball game with different players and different rules. It took place in a different country, as we had moved from the USA to the Netherlands. I was also balancing the needs of a newborn with the needs of a toddler. These had their challenges, but for us, the hardest part was my son’s reflux.

Thanks to reflux, lying flat in a cot caused my son a lot of pain and discomfort. This made night times hard. A bedtime routine could help him get to sleep, but he couldn’t sleep for long in a cot as he’d inevitably wake up in pain. I was able to soothe him, but as soon as he was lying flat again, it was only a matter of time before the discomfort would return. The only way forward was to find the cause of the reflux, as nothing would change otherwise. We tried lots of different things, checking his latch and my milk supply, feeding in smaller amounts and more frequently, bottle feeding, keeping him upright for longer periods after feeding him, burping him more frequently, medication, etc. None of it really helped in the long run. The next step was examining my diet. I kept a food diary to track what I was eating and drinking and would try to avoid certain foods to see if it helped with his reflux. After a lot of trial and error and an infinite amount of patience, we discovered that he was sensitive to dairy and eggs. I altered my diet, and we finally had a baby (and two parents) who could ‘sleep’ through the night.

My kids are four and six now, and I can barely remember those sleepless nights. Before writing this, I even asked my husband if our children had any problems sleeping when they were little. His response was “Uhm, yes! Do you not remember when….and…….?”. I didn’t really remember at first. I had to remind myself of those sleepless nights; I mostly remembered the view from the top of the hill. Looking back and taking the time to reflect on this reminded me of all the help I had along the way. Losing my mother unexpectedly meant I lost my main pillar of support. I wasn’t alone though; I had my husband and I also found support by sharing what I was going through with other people. In those early days, other people’s kindness and support would often bring me to tears, but it also helped me feel that little bit stronger and more ready to deal with the next day and the next bump in the road still to come.